Comments for There's an Elephant in the Room

Comment on Elephant in the Nursery (Part 2) by Suzie

Suzie — Tue, 13 May 2008 19:11:20 +0000

Great quote from a upcoming book by John Piper.

“The most fundamental task of a mother and father is to show God to the children. Children know their parents before they know God. This is a huge responsibility and should cause every parent to be desperate for God-like transformation. The children will have years of exposure to what the universe is like before they know there is a universe. They will experience the kind of authority there is in the universe and the kind of justice there is in the universe and the kind of love there is in the universe before they meet the God of authority and justice and love who created and rules of the universe. Children are absorbing from dad his strength and leadership and protection and justice and love; and they are absorbing from mother her care and nurture and warmth and intimacy and justice and love—and, of course, all these overlap.

And all this is happening before the child knows anything about God, but it is profoundly all about God. Will the child be able to recognize God for who he really is in his authority and love and justice because mom and dad have together shown the child what God is like. The chief task of parenting is to know God for who he is in his many attributes, and then to live in such a way with our children that we help them see and know this multi-faceted God. And, of course, that will involve directing them always to the infallible portrait of God in the Bible.”

found at http://www.desiringgod.org/Blog/1202/

Comment on Elephant in the Nursery (Part 2) by Cathy

Cathy — Mon, 05 May 2008 20:31:18 +0000

I gave up my full-time job when our first child was born. I felt a need to stay home with him. I’m not sure if you’d call it a “calling”, but I just felt a strong need to be the main caregiver for him. After 9 years (and one more baby), I still haven’t gone back to work.

This weekend’s message felt very validating for us! I know we did the right thing for our boys.. and hearing the research to back it was so uplifting.

My son and I spend Sunday afternoon at his elementary school’s “clean up day” working outside. When we got in the car to leave, I found two dandelion flowers on the dash for me… No, my son didn’t hear Bob’s message. He did it ALL ON HIS OWN.

I am truly blessed.

Comment on Elephant in the Nursery (Part 2) by Jennifer

Jennifer — Mon, 05 May 2008 19:41:15 +0000

Bob mentioned that his interview with Dr.Walsh would be available on the website. Do you know where that is located or when it will be posted? Thank you!

Comment on Elephant in the Nursery by Carrie

Carrie — Mon, 05 May 2008 17:43:01 +0000

WOW! Another message hit out of the park! My husband and I are the parents of a 1 year old, who in my opinion is already starting to exert his self-will. My husband and I are like sponges trying to soak up every bit of parenting and discipline we can and this message was awesome! Thanks for practical biblically based teaching. Keep up the great work, pastors!

Comment on Elephant in the Living (Together) Room - part 2 by Kay

Kay — Sat, 03 May 2008 18:10:56 +0000

Jason,
This message really hit home for me. I also wish I could’ve heard it several years ago so I didn’t have to suffer with the guilt and shame I feel whenever I think about past failed relationships or one night stands. I have struggled with sexual immorality for years but this gave some hope to my situation. I am ready to make a change, to repent. However, it’s a hard thing to do when I know that I’ll never be “pure” again and that those mistakes are scars that I will carry with me forever. Are there any good books on this topic?

Comment on Elephant in the Living (Together) Room - part 2 by Dee

Dee — Fri, 02 May 2008 21:00:00 +0000

What a great message and what a great series. I met my current “boyfriend” in my small group at Eagle Brook. (I say boyfriend which sounds silly when you are in your 40’s). We have been dating now 1 year in May. One of our early conversations as we started dating was about boundaries and waiting to have sex. He was in total agreement. We both have been in previous relationships where that was not the case. I had been in a relationship for a long time. I did take 3 years off from dating after that one. I grew spritually during that time. I began to pray that God would help me meet a man who shared in my faith. The man who I am dating was also specifically praying for the same thing. We then met a year ago. We are so glad we are waiting this time. Our relationship has grown so strong and we have God in the center of it. What a difference it makes. It was so nice to sit next to each other during this message and not be squirming but to be praising God and thanking Him that we are honoring Him and our bodies by waiting. Thank you for having the courage to speak this message and I so encourage others out there to wait…it is so worth it.

Comment on Insights from the Elephant in the Basement by Greg Grimstad

Greg Grimstad — Thu, 01 May 2008 20:25:06 +0000

Thanks for your note Kris. I’m really sorry to hear what you’re going through and know you are not alone. I shared your concern with a couple of pastors and here are some thoughts. First - know that looking at pornography has an addictive effect. For most people, promising to quit it or self-determination/will power doesn’t cut it. Second, I would highly consider taking away the devises that are used to download or look at pornography - which would be the equilivant of removing liquor from an alcoholics house. Expect a giant fight and stand your ground here. Third, I would seek out some help - we recommend Bachmann & Associates (651) 379-0444, Family Innovations (651) 748-5019 and Dr. Mark Laaser’s ministry is local too - (952) 746-3880. If you need any additional information - feel free to call us direct and we’re here to help!

Comment on Insights from the Elephant in the Basement by Kris

Kris — Thu, 01 May 2008 19:13:33 +0000

My teenage son (13 yo) has been “caught” looking at pornography over the past 9 months. This has included pay per movies(which we didn’t even know how to get and we had parental controls set but he figured out a way around them), websites and downloads onto his wireless game systems. Everytime we sit down and talk to him about it he first denies it and then confesses and says he won’t look at it anymore. My husband was home today and looked in his PS3 wireless system and found more downloads. We know we need to do something about it but are unsure of where to start. We have looked at Focus on the Family and some other sites but really feel he needs something more. Can anyone please help us.

Thanks.

Comment on The elephant in the living room by c.

c. — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 16:42:24 +0000

SS.

Great thoughts.

Hope no one thinks I was trying to spark an argument. I’m more/less trying as best I can to point out the arguments teens make.

I’ve come to believe Sin doesn’t hurt God, it hurts us. All Sin is selfishness in the form of action/behavior. That not only takes us away from God (not being cast away, but pulled away) but also from other people. When we are selfish we love less and less. God, other people, are all obsticals in our selfishness (Sin).

I’ve been down that road. Especially on the sexual end. I know where it leads.

And The Devil is right there right along with us when we travel it. Heck, it’s not until we start to turn ourselves around do we really start to see and feel the influence of The Devil - after all, why should he show himself to us when we’re doing just what he wants - he helps us make it think it’s our idea. etc.

Now, I feel/see Satan’s influence more and more. Why? Because I’m working my way back toward Love and not Selfishness.

Comment on Elephant in the Living (Together) Room - part 2 by SS

SS — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 16:31:09 +0000

I posted on the other thread, but I wanted to address something to “Anonymous” who said; “But it left me with feelings of guilt and shame.”

It’s sad that most people’s experience of “church” is one of blaming and shaming. God does not blame, and God does not shame. God loves. God forgives.

We all sin, and no sin is worse in God’s eyes. Nothing we do or think outside of God’s plan makes God love us any less. We need to remove those feelings of blame and shame, and then change our lives. God has given us a guidebook; God never said it would be easy, but because of the way we’re all made, it will always be the BEST way.